Valentimes

I know you've heard it. People who pronounce "Valentine's" "Valentimes." It annoys me to no end. The only way I can get past it and not call out people who pronounce it like that in my presence is to take a step out of reality and imagine that they mean "Valens Times" which is like "Mideval Times" but starring a troupe of cloned Lou Diamond Phillipses (Phillipi?) jousting with guitars, and set to the soundtrack of the movie La Bamba. Now you imagine taking your boo to that. Weird.

You know what else I like about Valentine's Day? Nothing.
Except this.

Please don't think I'm a weird cat lady. I like cats, but it ain't that serious.
Now, if you do find yourself thinking "this chick is mad random" but deep down inside you also know exactly where I'm coming from, you might just be the man for me. C'mon let's go. Hit a sister up, and let's make Valentine's, Valens times together. Forever.