In other animal news

I loved Nima's story about the giant and the dolphin. It made me think of the movie Big Fish, and then that dude Jonah from the Bible who got swallowed by the whale, and then James and the Giant Peach and then Innerspace, and then I remembered that I saw Meg Ryan on the street yesterday and she totally looked like crap. And although the story of the giant and the whale was uplifting and sweet unfortunately the rest of the Animalia Chordata Mamalia Cetacia Odontoceti Delphinidae in China are not off the hook. Today, the baji, a rare and nearly blind white dolphin native to the Yangtze river has been declared functionally extinct. The baiji dates back 20 million years, and the Chinese called it the "goddess of the Yangtze" which basically means it's China's Sophia Loren, and that makes me sad, cuz I really liked Grumpier Old Men. And dolphins. So Flippers, if you're reading the internet or having it read to you, pour some out for your homies that ain't here no more. Or blow some out, whatever you dolphins do.


In continued animal news, I read about an Australian man who pulled a 7 foot python out of a septic tank. Talk about a toilet snake! I of course had to google image "toilet snake", cuz that's the kind of thing I do, and I was just hoping I wouldn't find tons of pictures of giant turds, like on ratemypoo.com. And I didn't. But I was led to a bunch more stories about snakes being found in toilets, including this one about a woman who got bit by a water moccasin hiding in her toilet, and that is freaking terrifying. So then I thought about that scene in Poltergeist II where the kid is on the toilet, and his braces come alive and grow out of his mouth and tie him to the toilet, and although they're both scary terrible, I can't decide what's worse. So here's that picture I was talking about. Sweet dreams, and watch yer crack.